The Challenge of Retirement!

One of the challenges I am facing in the early stage of my retirement (I retired at age 70 April  30, 2014) is finding my significance in who I am in Christ (being) rather than what I do for  Jesus (doing). Ministry also provided me with feelings of importance from having title, status and prestige. I have been a missionary for the past 14 years. Before that I was pastor for 15 years followed by Conference Regional Minister for 8 years. Now my title is semi-retired. This is a loss.

Retirement also creates the loss of busyness. One of the most common questions in our culture today is about being busy. To be sure I have plenty of things to do though not much formal ministry. This gives me time to work with my hands and tackle projects that have remained undone while active in ministry. Working with my hands has been good therapy for renewing my mind. However the loss of busyness with ministry is a loss.

I realize that it takes longer to do the same amount of work whether working with my mind or body. The mind does not work as fast a well as it used to and neither does the body. In addition the stamina required to do the work has decreased so shorter times of work are required. 

In preparation for retirement the most helpful resource has been the book, “Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully” by Joan Chittister. It has helped me deal with loss that growing older brings with it. It seems we have two options in dealing with loss as we grow older. On the one hand we can continue to push forward and slow down only as the limitations of age rob us of our ability to perform. With this option we continue to find our significance in what we do. Therefore with the loss of abilities we loose significance. This option will leave is a feelings of victimization and will most likely lead to living with resentments that lead to bitterness.

The other option is to choose to find our significance in who we are rather than in what we do. With this option I am free to choose to reduce my level of activity rather than wait until I am forced to slow down. This is a process of maturing in Christ in which I increasingly find my worth in who I am in Christ rather than in what I can do for Him. I offer my gifts, abilities and wisdom as needed rather than forcing myself on others because of the needs of my ego.

We are able to do this voluntarily because we are shifting from finding our significance in what we do to who we are in Christ. I am lead each day by the Holy Spirit with an increased desire to live in intimacy with God. In this relationship my true self is nurtured and fed. My relationship with Christ makes me important and gives me worth because Jesus has declared me worthy of  his death on the cross. I am now free to offer back to God and others who I am rather than striving to “score points” by doing for others. 

This means learning to live for the audience of One rather than living for the applause of many! It means living out John 15:5, “Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” This means I need slow down and take care of my own soul first rather than burning out meeting the demands of the crowd. 

I knew all of this in my head when I set the time of retirement at 70 years. What I have discovered knowing something in my head does not translate into knowing it in my heart. Thus some days I have slipped into a “funk” emotionally usually without knowing the reasons.

The Greatest Challenge of Leadership

“What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?” Matthew 16:26 NLT

Every leader faces the challenge of balancing “Being” with “Doing”. Most of my life I have been focused on doing. Maximizing my impact on others, serving others and other performance goals. How can I live a life of influence?

What if we began with the questions, “What is God most desiring from me? What are the deepest longings of my soul?

I believe God’ priority is that I grow in my love for Him until I love the Lord with all my heart, soul and mind. He desires intimacy with me in a relationship that is growing where God is replacing all the things that I love and worship instead of Him. 

This is all about being a human in relationship with a mighty, awesome God, King of the universe. When this relationship is strong and growing I am able to serve others out of the overflow of Christ in me. On the other hand when my soul is empty as a result of living a self centered life, I have only myself to give to others relying on what is in my head rather than my heart.

This challenges me at the center of who I am. Its a question of where does my self worth/significance come from? Do I find my true worth in what I do or who I am in Christ? Perhaps looking at my calendar gives a clue. What is the balance between doing and being in my life? How many hours a day do I give to serving others, doing for God rather than being with God? 

It takes time to nurture my life in Christ. It doesn’t just happen without being intentional. What dictates how you use your time? Are you spending enough time alone with God (living for the audience of One) to keep your soul full and growing? Even my time with God can become a list of things I need to do and thus we miss the alone time with God in which He is the audience of my attention, my focus and center of attention.

Retirement challenges my dependence on doing for my significance (Stay tuned).